NEWS

Psychic Vera'sTiresome Words And Phrases

Charm Offensive: Primarily used to describe Bush's offensive attempt to "charm" his critics by making self-depreciating jokes, yuking it up and smirking a lot.

Compassionate Conservativism: Republicans promise to say they're sorry after they screw us.

Civility: Used by Republicans and the White House to describe the mood of Washington since Bush became President. The Republicans are only civil because they have all the power. When Clinton was in office, they were uncivil and hateful.

Bipartisan: a word Bush and the Republicans like to throw around in order to give the voting public the false notion that they are working with the Democrats to do what is best for the rest of us when, in actuality, they are only doing what is best for them and their wealthy friends.

Crunching the numbers: "creative" bookkeeping and budgetmaking to insure that the middle-class doesn't realize giving the rich their tax break will result in funds for crucial and popular government programs being cut.

Quite frankly: a disappointing phrase generally used by a politician as a precursor for saying absolutely nothing of importance, when what is expected in something boldly honest and possibly shocking. You're meant to think that they are taking you into their confidence. For example: What they actually said: Quite frankly, I'm wondering about the level of George W. Bush's focus on the issues. What you think they're going to say: Quite frankly, I 'm wondering if Georgie Porgie is a ding bat.

Diva: Originally used by the entertainment industry to describe female singers that are usually old and talented, but now is used to describe any singer of any age, even though she may be talent less and mediocre.

Vetting: Used in politics to denote the process that candidates and appointees for positions in government go through for establishing their credentials, go over their resumes, and check out their history. Political pundits use this term adnauseum, particularly to describe the process of Republicans picking out fellow dinosaurs they want in positions of power.

Potty Mouth: This euphemism is more disgusting than the words it's describing.

Energizing the base: Generally used to describe stimulating the old fossils of the right wing with horrible tales of blow jobs in the White House, or any where else for that matter, in order to collect more donations for Republican campaign coffers.

Comfort food: Used to describe food that makes you feel secure and like a kid again, (particularly when your mom fixed you meat loaf and macaroni and cheese), and is generally full of fat and calories.

Leader of the free world: Now used to describe Georgie boy Bush; this is certainly a misnomer when you consider how he was put into office by a Supreme Court coup.

Grown-ups: used by the beltway crowd(Washington D.C. journalists, pundits, other isolated residents of the Capitol city) to generally describe old farty Republicans. Grown-ups are apparently now in the White House: no more late night cabals or blow-jobs, no more tardiness or casual clothing, no more cell phones or press conferences. Grown-ups like to go to bed by 10:00 PM, play video golf or solitare when they are too tired to be president, and make sure they take their pillow named Pilly when they go far away from home. (According to Jake Trapper in his new book, Down and Dirty: The Plot to Steal the Presidency, our new president has to carry his pillow nicknamed Pilly, whenever he travels away from home).