A DEVIL IN THE 

NEWS

WHITE HOUSE

I've decided to keep a journal because I'm having a difficult time keeping up with the shenanigans that the Republicans have in store for the American people now that they've got control of all three branches of the government (hurray, I say, hurray). It's an excellent idea to write down their antics, in order to keep track of which Repulsivan does what. I can make hash marks by each name. When the time comes to tally their infernal behavior, it will be an easy task to send them straight to the Dark Place.

The generals in the Pentagon were extremely unhappy the other day when Bushie Boy told them they weren't going to get the money they thought they deserved. This was another good idea of mine because I knew the big boys would feel betrayed after they all voted for the shallow little man. You'd think they wouldn't have voted for a fella that was missing in action. He didn't show up for the National Guard in 1972, not the entire year. In his autobiography, he said that he held a civilian job working for an inner-city anti-poverty program in Houston in 1972, but I say he wasn't working for a wage, he was working off a drug conviction. Oh, he was a drinker all right, but there was more. A little bit of dope, quite a bit of coke. He was a real party animal. Bishslab is sure all that cocaine and booze affected his brain. Better for us.

But he gave those pentagon guys the idea that he was going to pay for $200.00 toilet seats just like Reagan did. (The rumors about Nancy Reagan not voting for the Little Fella are delightful). The generals don't like getting knifed in the back. They just didn't realize that nothing comes ahead of the tax cut. He wants it for himself, his brothers (forget about his sister, she married a Democrat), his dad and mother, and maybe some of his friends. I'm happy to think that the big boys will get even. The Bitty Boy don't get that not everyone thinks his shit don't stink (I like to talk with bad grammar, makes me feel more American). The Bushes all feel that they are better than everyone else. Hallelujah. Every last one of 'em, except maybe the sister, thinks that they can do anything they want without paying the consequences. I was happy to learn from Bishslab that Georgie Sr. maintains his friendship with the delightful Pinochet, who'll be a wonderful addition to our Father's house, once he joins us on the other side.

About my influence. I may be just a minor aide to one of Georgie's closest advisors, but my suggestions are so brilliant, I've developed quite a bit of clout. They often compare my boss, and rightly so, to Lee Atwater, who unfortunately skipped out on us after he got brain cancer and realized that his political dirty tricks were earning him a seat on the train to the black hole. This earthly boss of mine is a real comer. He's extremely easy to advise because he doesn't have any scruples, not one. His political role model is Machiavelli, of course, who else? Aren't I lucky? I can't say the same for my colleague. He must contend with whoiswhatits, a misplaced fella if I ever saw one. All of us keep thinking that he belongs to us, but he continues to surprise us with his dedication to our Adversary. Bishslab tries and tries to use whoiswhatits' weakness against him and it pays off, but only for awhile, and then he's up and running again in support of that miserable idea of everyone realizing their potential, poor or rich. My friends, the Republicans, are always trying to get even with the bastard for improving the economy, and showing them up for the weak-minded and hypocritical animals they are, but it never works. Even this present hubbub won't go on forever. (Pinochet's friend pardoned many scurrilous individuals and no one made such a fuss). Then the press will have to turn back to the Small Lad and focus their laser like beam of truth (har har) on his fun loving programs.

There is so much to do on so many fronts. Not only are we pressing forward on the tax cut for the rich, we're also compensating for the loss of income to the treasury by cutting off the poor again. I love this one. The poor can be ignored for the most part, just a few Democrats ever stand up for them, and Republicans don't have to pay attention to them in real life. Hey, who's to say that there's anything wrong with limousines and gated communities. They wall off the poor from the rich, don't they?

I recently told Bishslab that the Adversary's Book is such a saccharine defense of the poor, it makes my stomach churn. I told him not to worry if he hasn't read it. Many so-called Christians never read those abysmal Gospels. We get them to focus on the Old Testament, particularly Leviticus, or the Letters from the apostle Paul instead. The Gospels are too difficult for them to follow, particularly the love your neighbor as yourself slock, and all of the admonitions against money. My favorites, Pat Self-Righteousson, and Jerry Fallbelow are incapable of doing the former and completely ignore the latter. What they and the others like them don't understand is that sexual sin is never as bad as the sin of pride. That's why they all go after whositwhatits, as if he's the Grand Sinner of All Time. They've often been told which sin is the worst one, but they have an infernal blind spot when it comes to being self-righteous. That's all the better for us. They're so full of pride, they become pompous, which makes them completely blind to the rapid degradation of their souls.

Next time I'll talk about my boss's plan for the California energy crisis.