NEWS

Apparently, some Europeans think George Bush may be an alien from outside our solar system; they are so sure that Bush is an extraterrestrial, they were surprised that when his plane landed in Spain today, he didn't say on disembarking, " Take me to your leader." Instead, he flubbed the name of the Spanish Prime Minister. Instead of referring to him as Prime Minister Aznar, he said Anzar. The Europeans thought Bush showed his true colors further by mispronouncing words and mangling syntax in Spanish. In an interview on Spanish television he said, "It is a great honor to travel to Spain and visit the King and also Prime Minister Anzar. But I have to practice the very pretty language, and unless I practise I am going to destroy the language." (He's already destroyed English.)

According to Psychic Vera, who talked to several European psychics on the astral plane, they believe that the new president is an extra-terrestrial because he has put the United States so outside the norm of what Europeans feel a democracy should support.

Rejecting the Kyoto accords even after a new report from the National Academy of Sciences which confirms the evidence of global warming, abolishing funding for birth control information in third world countries, trying to ram star wars missile defense down their collective throats, while glowingly supporting the death penalty has left European aghast and afraid that George W. Bush is not really a human being.

Further, there is some suspicion that the president may not be the only alien in a position of authority in this country, and that Americans, themselves, are so empty and stupid that they have allowed an alien government to take over the reins of power. According to the conservative British magazine, The Economist, the Europeans think Americans, in general, are,"a gun-slinging, Bible-bashing(thumping?), Frankenstein-food guzzling, behemoth-driving, planet-polluting nation in which politicians are mere playthings of mighty corporations."

Psychic Vera said that the Europeans suspicion further confirms her own fears about the new president and his wife, Laura. "During the night of the primaries back in June of 2000," Vera said, "I was appalled to see the empty shallowness of the Bush couple. Not only were they empty, they were stunned. Laura, unfortunately, looked like a robot and the thought crossed my mind that I wasn't looking at human beings, I was actually seeing aliens from outer space. It was not a comforting sight. It was though the two were shells and something else had come in to take up residency. I guess it further supports my Native American friend, Fred Wheelwright, who claimed that George W. is a victim of soul loss.

After speaking recently with Wheelright, Vera said that her friend hadn't changed his opinion about George W. needing a shaman to locate his soul. "His religious fundamentalism isn't doing the trick for him, " Wheelright told Vera. "He needs to do something fast, or we'll all be paying for it."

Vera wonders, however, if George W. does find his soul and throws off his alien persona, will that be the end of the Bush II presidency, one way or the other? If W. does stand on his own two feet and resists the autocratic, anti-populist positions of his vice-president and the rest of the oil barons and big business buddies that expect him to mindlessly go along, will he be placing himself in danger?

"That's possible," Fred Wheelright said. "But remember what Jesus said in Matt 16 25-26. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul.