Aquila News 2000
Bush Accrues Heavy Karma
On Wednesday, Psychic Vera told her students that George W. Bush had accrued heavy karma due to the methods that he and the Republican Party had used in winning the presidential election. "He won fraudulently," Vera said. "And unfortunately for him, God won't allow him to go scot free."
Wickedness in High Places and It Ain't Al Gore
The evil that men do lives after them
Fred Wheelright, Psychic Vera's Native American friend, told her it was now too late for George W. Bush. In a previous article, Aquila News quoted Wheelright as saying that Bush was a victim of soul loss, and he needed to engage a shaman to go find it.
"Too late, too late for Bush," Fred said. "When I saw him on the news last night, giving his so-called presidential acceptance speech, I could tell that an evil spirit has come to influence this poor empty man."
photo by AP
BUSH--VICTIM OF SOUL LOSS
Psychic Vera's Native American friend, Fred Wheelright, recently advised her that George W. Bush was suffering from soul loss.
"He needs to find a shaman that will go out and retrieve his soul. He is in a dangerous situation at this time," Wheelright said.
Psychic Offers $100 Reward for Proof
This Woman is Really a Man
Today, Psychic Vera posted a hundred dollar reward for proof that the Republican Florida Secretary of State known as Katherine Harris is really a man.
"It is quite possible that this individual is in drag," Vera said. "And I'm willing to pay to clear this matter up."
Psychic Vera's Secret Diary November 2
SHRUB GUMP
FOR OAF OF THE YEAR
Yesterday I was stunned by what a friend told me he saw on a David Letterman show last week. The night before, George Bush had appeared on the show and the next evening Letterman played the film of what went on during the commercial break when tv viewers weren't watching.
Psychic Vera's Secret Diary--October 31
SHRUB GUMP
FOR PRESIDENT
Are we going to have Shrub Gump for President? Forest Gump is Bush's favorite movie and as we've been able to observe him throughout this political season, we can see why. Is Bush just like Gump, a pleasant brainless fellow that makes good.? Well, he seems brainless, all right, but is he that pleasant? Not when put on the defensive, and not when he's supporting policies that are clearly detrimental to this country's future.
Psychic Vera's Secret Diary--October 24
Ralph Nader: Unsafe at Any Speed
A lot of people, particularly in Northern California, like Ralph Nader. I don't. Although they think he's the genuine answer to their dissatisfaction with the two political parties, I think he has become a crackpot. At one time he was a dedicated advocate for the consumer. Now I think he's not much different than Perot, a victim of his own self-aggrandizement. What a shame.
Psychic Vera's Secret Diary: October 17
American Wasteland
In the October 11 diary entry I began listing the reasons that George Bush, if elected President, will turn our country into an American wasteland. I listed He'll Screw Up the Environment as number one due to his absymal record in Texas. Today I'll cover foreign affairs.
2. He'll botch foreign policy
When you approach them (foreign affairs) with superficial clichés, an unwillingness to master details and an over-reliance on military power, you end up with American in Lebanon in 1982--one of George W. Bush's preferred foreign policy moments. Scary. Thomas Friedman, "The Wrong Answer", New York Times on the Web, October 17.
Psychic Vera's Secret Diary: October 11
American Wasteland
I'm going to list all the reasons that a Bush Cheney victory in November would lead to an American wasteland. Non-partisan voters may think that I'm being overly dramatic. It is true that American politics is often run on the engine of exaggeration. For example, the religious right-wing believe that God will destroy us if we elect Gore-Lieberman. However, my American wasteland prediction is based on tangible factors besides my psychic senses.
1. He'll Screw up the Environment
"But Bush's environmental record--you know he's running on empty." Neil Carman, Lone Star Sierra Club, May 1999
Psychic Vera's Secret Diary:
September 24
Gail Sheehy in her article, The Accidental Candidate, in the latest issue of Vanity Fair, infers that George W. Bush is dyslexic. His stupid, Republican quotes could be symptoms of this particular brain dysfunction. If this is so, it wouldn't be wise to elect a dyslexic president. Like his father before him who had his own stupid, peculiar quotes (SRQ's), and vomited on the Japanese, Jr. might perplex the same folks by suggesting that the US shouldn't put a cufflink on free trade with Japan.
Secret Diary
September 20
The information I'm gleaning from Anthony Summer's new book, Arrogance of Power: the Secret Life of Richard Nixon is not only mind boggling, it is utterly appalling. For the next several days I will make a note of those items that are the most revealing of Richard Nixon's sickness. He was mentally ill for most of his life, and after reading some of Summer's book, I think I now have an understanding of him that I didn't have before.
Secret Diary: September 19
I met George Bush on the astral plane last night. Well, I can't say I really met him because he was so self-absorbed that he didn't talk to me or anyone else, for that matter.
Psychic Vera's Secret Diary: September 12
Today The Press Democrat and abcnews.com are running an article about a new Republican ad that smells of subliminal advertising. The word "rats" flashes on the screen for one-thirtieth of a second after a picture of Al Gore's face appears.
Psychic Vera's Secret Diary: August 27
I've been trying to finish reading two George W. Bush biographies. The first one is Molly Ivins and Lou Dubose's, Shrub, The Short But Happy Political Life of George W. Bush and the second, Fortunate Son is by J.H. Hatfield. Both books are well written, but I'm acutely bored by the life of a man who has delusions of grandeur and believe he has what it takes to make a good president. I don't think I've ever been so consitently bored by a political biography. George W. Bush is a fat zero.
Psychic Vera's Secret Diary: August 14-16
First day of the Democrat Convention. So far, it's not a phony show like the Republicans in Philadelphia. Good video about average Americans that have benefited from the Clinton-Gore administration's policy. Clinton's speech, as usual, was good. It's very easy to listen to him and his speaking skills are one reason he is so popular. Unfortunately, not many politicians have his ability with oratory. Many of them present themselves well when they are chatting with journalists or are answering questions, but few of them can grab the audience like Clinton can and hold the attention for as long as he can talk.
Psychic Vera's Secret Diary: August 8-12
My first reaction to the announcement yesterday that Gore had picked Joe Lieberman for Vice-president was somewhat negative. Initially I remembered Lieberman's condemnation of Bill Clinton during the Lewinsky scandal. At the time, I sent him an e-mail voicing my displeasure. But after hearing him speak at a Gore headquarters in Tennessee, I've changed my mind. I was impressed with his sincere religiosity, his gratitude that he, a Jew, was chosen to be Gore's running mate, his love for his wife and children, and his position on the issues. He has an excellent record on the environment, a dedication to civil rights, a desire to see all Americans well-educated, support for gun control and universal health care.
Psychic Vera's Secret Diary: August 2-7
America is in the throes of the Republican Convention. It is day three. Tomorrow Bush gives his speech. Is anybody watching? Although I think I should, I haven't seen any of it. I find it just too depressing.
From what I hear, the Republicans were trying to appear all-inclusive by having a black woman sing the Star Spangled Bannerand a Hispanic Republican scream out,"Puerto Rico, I love you!"
Why Do Brain Dead Republican White Men Run For President?
The first question Psychic Vera posed to her weekly class, "Why do brain dead Republican white men run for President," was met with a stunned silence. After a couple of minutes, several hands flew into the air.
"Because there aren't any other kind of Republicans?"Psychic Rat said.
"Because they're the ones that can be manipulated by darker forces?" Psychic Bob said.
"Because a brain in a Bush is worthless?" Psychic Chuck answered.
AQUILA NEWS-1999
Psychic Hears Mantra on Astral Plane: George W. Bush is a Big Wuss
Psychic Vera stunned her students last week with the latest message she received from the astral plane.
"I found myself walking through a green mist", she said, when suddenly I came upon three monks. While one beat on an African drum, the other two chanted the same phrase over and over: George W. Bush is a real wuss. George W. Bush is a real wuss.
Simulated Sex Acts At Republican Gala
Psychic Vera shook her head in disbelief as her husband, Psychic Chuck, confirmed that her visions on the astral plane had once again come true.
"Your accuracy is almost 90%," Chuck said. "I was hoping, however, that you'd be dead wrong about this one. Who in their right mind wants to see simulated sex acts at a Republican Gala?"
Duplicitous Republican Response to Elian Gonzalez
In her most recent class lecture, Psychic Vera told her students that the Republican response to the Elian Gonzalez crisis was hypocritical and solely based on their obsession with regaining the White House and controlling the country.
John McCain Tells Chinese Officials He's Tarzan
According to a new revelation by Psychic Vera, John McCain, if elected President, will announce to Chinese officials that he is Tarzan.
Republican Rogue's Gallery
After reading the excellent and well-documented, new book by Joe Conason and Gene Lyons, The Hunting of the President, Psychic Vera marveled at the wicked intent of Bill Clinton's enemies.
"Like Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell" she said, "individuals that took part in the nefarious conspiracy to bring down the president of the United States and the first lady, were all in denial regarding their complicity with the Evil One."
Another Planet?
ABC news.com recently reported that scientists have discovered unusual phenomena which, may point to the existance of another planet.
Physicists in the United States and an astronomer in Great Britain describe this hypothetical planet as having the mass of between one and ten Jupiters,as well as having an orbit that takes it three million miles from the Sun.
This hypothesis coincides with one presented by Zecharia Sitchin in his book, The Twelfth Planet, first printed in 1976. Sitchin, a Hebrew scholar, uses ancient Babylonian records, originally written in cuneiform, to present his hypothesis of an undiscovered planet in our solar system, located millions of miles father out than the planet, Pluto.
Astral Rumpology
Taking a cue from Slyvester Stallone's mother, Jackie, who claims to be a rumpologist as well as an astrologer, Psychic Vera tried her hand at analyzing rumps she perused on the astral plane.
Claiming that her newly learned technique was embarrassing to practice, Vera said, "Thank God I don't have to consult with individuals on the physical level. It's easy enough to tune into their derrieres on the psychic plane without them being the wiser."
Kenneth Starr Grabbed My Breast on the Astral Plane
After watching 60 Minutes on television, Psychic Vera admitted to Psychic Chuck that the so-called independent prosecutor,Kenneth Starr, had fondled her breast on the astral plane.
While Chuck wondered why he hadn't psychically tuned into the assault, he was appalled to learn that Vera intended to go on national television with her accusation.
Bill Clinton's Enemies--Some Fat, All Ugly and Sexless
Last Tuesday night, Psychic Vera revealed that most of the men hunting the President were ugly and devoid of sex appeal. "I can think of at least five right off the top of my head," she exclaimed, "and the one that tops the ugly and sexless list is of course, Rush Limbaugh."