The first question Psychic Vera posed to her weekly class, "Why do brain dead Republican white men run for President," was met with a stunned silence. After a couple of minutes, several hands flew into the air.

"Because there aren't any other kind of Republicans?"Psychic Rat said.

"Because they're the ones that can be manipulated by darker forces?" Psychic Bob said.

"Because a brain in a Bush is worthless?" Psychic Chuck answered.

"All those answers have merit", Vera said, "and we will certainly discuss those points in this class. I was thinking of something else, however."

Psychic Duke threw up his hand and said, "My answer is that brain dead Republican white men run for president because they've all been on hard drugs."

"You are correct, sir, "Psychic Vera said. When asked how she ascertained this information, she denied finding it on the astral plane. "All you have to do is read the online magazine, Salon, online versions of The Boston Globe and The Times of London and My Favorite Son, a book written by J.H. Hatfield, to realize that many of the brain dead things George W. Bush says (see Stupid Republican Sayings in this issue of Aquila News) are probably due to cocaine use in the 70's.

The Times of London online reports that Bush was suspended from flying while in the Air National Guard because he wouldn't take a medical examination that included a drug test in August, 1972.

This allegation that he was suspended may have been supported by The Boston Globe's article, "One year gap in Bush's National Guard duty." According to the Globe article, in his final 18 months of service Bush didn't fly during 1972 or 1973, and furthermore, he was unaccounted for during those same years. (Psychic Chuck says he was abducted by aliens)

In Fortunate Son, J. H. Hatfield in an afterword writes that sources told him that George W. was arrested in 1972 for cocaine possession but his record was expunged by a judge that President Bush help get elected. In order to expunge the record, however, Bush had to complete community service at Project P.U.L.L. in Houston.

This seems to explain Bush's lost years, yet right after the book was first published by St. Martins Press in 1999, the Bush family managed to have the publishers retract the book and accused the author of being a convicted criminal. Soft Skull Press finally republished the book in January 2000.

Psychic Vera also supported her claim that brain dead Republicans run for president because they've used dangerous drugs by mentioning Dan Quayle's alleged cocaine use. The former Vice President's stupid sayings are too similar to George W. Bush's to be a coincidence, Vera maintains, and she sites the1991 discussion of Quayle's possible drug use of cocaine and quaaludes in the 1980's as proof of her allegation.

Combining Psychic Chuck's comment, "a brain in a bush is worthless", with Psychic Bob's answer, "brain dead Republicans run for President because they're the ones that are most easily manipulated by dark forces," Vera went on to discuss the grim possibility of a George W. Bush presidency.

"If Bush is elected," Vera said, "not only are we looking at the probable appointment of conservative judges that will overturn Roe vs. Wade and turn this country into a fundamentalist's paradise, but we will also have to contend with a return to the foreign policy of the elder Bush and his predecessor, brain dead Ronald Reagan. "George W. has already been seen on stage with those old foreign policy idiots: George Schultz and Henry Kissinger. Kissinger is often thought of as a foreign policy genius while he is actually a pie brain. They are all easily manipulated by the dark forces which will once again turn the White House into a haven for greedy, empty souled politicians, whose only concern is their own power and money, and the survival of their equally miserable and materialistic friends."